Volume to Weight

Eddie Gibbons

The publisher said
my book of poems
would have broad appeal.

So I shed a few pounds
worth at readings
in pubs, libraries
and jazz clubs.

The audiences were thin
on the ground: an old man
and his dog, both deaf, and
the requisite drunken heckler.

I was getting fed
up with my meagre diet:
half-baked accolades
from half-pissed acolytes.

So I took my Slim
Volume to Weight
Watchers because
I thought it deserved
a wider audience.